Linh On Web

Photos of cabin stay in Moraine

2006-06-05T21:11:00.000-05:00

Just to let people know that I uploaded photos of my cabin stay in Moraine State Park at Multiply. Click on link on the right.

If you want to see exclusive content like a video of Jieling kneading dough, you have to sign up with Multiply. If you don't want to sign up, just too bad lor... I am deciding that some things should be private or protected so that's why have to sign up lor... And it's relatively easier to upload photos at Multiply too... Ok, that's all for advertising for Multiply... :)

Memorial Day Holiday

2006-05-30T15:33:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a public holiday. Sam and I were struck at how different people spent the holidays.

1 group of our friends went on a boating trip in a state park. Another group of friends went to give out tracts and share the gospel in the park. They knew that it was going to be a holiday and that the parks would be crowded so they went tracting. Both groups went to the park but for very different reasons and goals. It was then that it struck me and Sam at how little we love God and how much we love ourselves. Friends who went boating, please don't think that I am judging you. This is really a self-reflection post, not a which friend is better post. If Sam didn't go to school on Memorial Day, we would have probably gone boating too. And when Sam returned from school, we went shopping and swimming. We spent the holiday entirely self-seeking...

To our friends who went tracting, thank you for reminding us of the need to love the souls of men. Thank you for reminding us that people need the Lord. Thank you for reminding us that we don't really love God and want to make Him known at every opportunity. Thank you for your love for God and your love for God's word. Thank you for doing all these so gently. (These friends told us matter-of-factly that they were going tracting in the park without any hint of judgement on us, nor did they make any attempt to make us feel guilty by trying to convince us to join them.) Thank you too for spurring us on toward love and good deeds by your examples.

It is Worth it

2006-05-18T22:31:00.000-05:00

When I had Jieling, I had a relatively challenging time simply because I was a new mother. Looking after a baby is so intensive! Parents and parents-in-law were helpful but not a super great help because the last time they handled a baby was like nearly 30 years ago!

My friend (unmarried and without children) told me that her friend (who is a mother) tells her that it is very difficult to look after babies but when they turn 2, it is all worth it. When she said that, I was like, "Huh? Long time man, 2 years old. I will tell you later if it is really worth it."

Today, Jieling is more than 3 and after looking at families around me, I can only say that what you get is worth the time and effort you put in caring and training your children. It's really a "reap what you sow" concept. Of course, by God's grace and mercy, you do and can reap more that what you sow.

I didn't feel particularly well today so I wanted a longer nap in the afternoon. Jieling came to lie down with me on my bed. Songling woke up too and Jieling told her, "Mei, you wait ok? Mama got fever, need to rest a while. Later carry you ok? Now I play you ok?"

I prepared dinner for them but I didn't eat cos I didnt really have the appetite. So Jieling asked, "How about you, mama? How come you not eating dinner?" I said that I wasn't feeling well and so I don't feel like eating. She said, "You can do it, mama!" Hahaha, what an encourager!

Then Sam took the 2 kids out to a parenting class while I stayed at home to rest. Babysitting provided (Thanks, B & C!). Before they left, Jieling said, "Mama, rest well ok. Later I call you. See you!" When they returned, Jieling told me all that happened during the babysitting (so-and-so was sick, she and Uncle B ate how many muffins, Uncle B played cookies with Songling, etc...). Then this conversation followed,
Jieling: I love you, mama.
Me: I love you too, Jieling. I missed you.
Jieling: I miss you also. I want come home, talk to you later. (Translation: I wanted to come home and talk to you)

Sigh, makes my heart melt. It is worth it afterall.

The Road Now Less Travelled

2006-05-10T13:30:00.000-05:00

This is an excerpt from Pamela Boswell in Mary Pride's book, "All the Way Home".

"The main thing I wanted to write about was the opportunity we, as Christians, have to leave an amazing legacy through our families. I wanted to share the example of my grandparents, who had eight children, 30 grandchildren, and (so far) 43 great-grandchildren. These two people have made a great impact on the lives of so many-not only their direct descendants, but on the husbands and wives of two generations as well. In fact, my husband credits my grandfather as being the most influential person in his decision to become a Christian. All of their children and grandchildren are Christians, and all of my cousins are building Christian homes for the next generation.
Only in recent years, as I've seen more and more of the world around me, have I become aware of what a blessing it was to be born into this family. Last summer we had a family reunion in Portland, Oregon, and the memories are still sweet today. . .
The point I want to make is that your idea of "evangelism through reproduction" is a realistic goal. My grandparents began as poor farmers in Missouri. Their first child was born in 1916, and now, seventy years later, their influence has spread to 11 states and dozens of their descendants working for the Lord. All of us could duplicate this and in a relatively short period of time make a marked change in the course of our nation. . . ."

Anyway, this quote was in a section about trusting God for the children He gives (which, to me, is a road less travelled now, hence my title... hee hee...). This is (to me) a very uncommon way of looking at the mandate God gave in Genesis 1:28 - to "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it". I have yet to hear a pastor or preacher in Singapore say something like this to a similar effect.

Corn Corn Corn

2006-04-27T15:07:00.000-05:00

I made a corny joke last week. Sam was like, "Hahaha, very corny..." Then we started reminscing about the good old corn days in PL. (XY, if you are still coughing, you should stop reading right about now.)

Sam used to belong to a PRESTIGIOUS corn club. It's prestigious cos there are only 4 of them. Membership was by appointment only and you gained membership based on how corny you were. They had a whole collection of corny jokes like "What does a corn do when he is hot?". Answer: "Turn on the aircon". I remember (before Sam and I were seriously going out) them trying to assess and evaluate if I deserved membership *faint* *eyes rolling*.

Anyway, as if these jokes were not corny enough, they actually had nicknames. When I heard the nicknames, I was literally rolling on my floor. I had forgotten completely about the nicknames! (XY, you really should stop reading by NOW!) Sam could only remember 3 out of the 4 nicknames. They are .... drumroll, please.... PopCORN, Maizola CORN oil and CORNelius!

Now, time for a PopCORN quiz (sorry, qn. 2 is only for PL folks)
1. Which nickname belongs to Sam?
2a. Who are the members of this club?
2b. Could you match the members to their nicknames?
3. What do you think the 4th nickname could be? (sorry, no answers for this one... unless one of the club members email me or something)

Seriousness in Food Business

2006-04-14T13:50:00.000-05:00

I decided to blog about something serious regarding Jieling's love for food.

I know I always write funny anecdotes about her food encounters. However, I feel compelled today (I don't know why) to write about the serious side of this love that she has.

At birth, she was decidedly a big eater. Of course, I didn't know that since I was a first-time mom. But she was basically drowning herself in milk. She was a poor eater when we first introduced solids. Her BIG BREAK came when she started being able to try table foods (food we eat as adults). Sam and I decided that we have to start controlling her food intake. Some people questioned us - "Huh? Why? Children should eat as much as they like mah. They hungry what. Why so chek ark, don't give her?" All I can tell you is that I know how much my child can eat and I know that she can do with a lot less. (We have a favorite restaurant that we eat in Pittsburgh here and it is not uncommon for Jieling to eat and eat and eat and then she will go to bathroom to do a big business, return to the table and eat and eat and eat some more!!!! We seldom eat out and when we do, it's usually for social reasons, so we don't usually restrict her as much. Much of our training takes place at home. You can imagine how much she loves that restaurant!)

Why do we control her food intake? She must learn self-control. It is a fruit of the spirit that we can teach her to value. She cannot and should not, according to the bible, indulge in every food item that she sees. Basically, Sam and I have the final say. Seriously, we should not give everything that a child wants or desires. It is extremely unhealthy for the child's soul to do so!!!! If she wants something, she has to ask and if we say no, it means no. I can only tell you that it hasn't been a problem for us. When other children are eating, she looks at me and I say, "Not for you and not now." She walks away from the food and does something else. I eat my lunch (she has had her portion already) and she sits very near me and examines my food. She stares at my food, names then one by one (eg. egg, noodle, meat, vegetable) but she does not ask me for permission to eat it. She says "Mama's egg, mama's vegetable... etc".

Recently, she did something which I believe some people may think is funny or cute. She brought her bowl to the dining table (she helps to set the table) and whilst doing so, she pinches 1 grain of rice and puts it in her mouth. By the way, she knows she must thank God first and wait for everyone before she can start to eat. I see her mouth moving and I ask her, "Did you eat?". She hesitated and said, "Yes". I asked her what she ate. "Rice" and she stuck out her tongue to show me. I made a BIG deal out of it. I wasn't dramatic or whatever. But I said she has to wait for a while before she can eat. (I spanked her first, by the way, because she disobeyed.) She screamed and yelled and hollered for 20-25 minutes.

Why is this important? Why do I do this? It is STEALING! She sneakily took something that she is not supposed to (it is in her bowl but she is not supposed to eat it). If you think I made a big fat hairy deal out of nothing, we are on different pages in parenting! I just want to encourage parents to seriously consider what you are letting your kids get by. Small sin is still sin.

For those who think that it is bad to use the rod - Proverbs 23:13-14 - "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death."

Songling is 1!

2006-04-10T14:36:00.000-05:00

My precious baby is no longer a baby. She can walk and almost can run. The thing about having 2 birthdays close to each other is having to bake 2 cakes in about a week. And twice is a little too much for Jieling to take, she is constantly singing Happy Birthday and asking if we are baking some more birthday cakes.

In fact, when I baked Songling's cake the day before her actual birthday, Jieling was delirious. She would sing "Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to Mei mei" and then squeeze Songling's cheeks. Then she would tell Songling, "Mei mei, papa come home, eat dinner first, later sing birthday ok, then eat cake" and then she would squeeze mei mei's cheeks AGAIN. The thought of eating cake just made her so excited that she had to squeeze Songling's cheeks. Buay tahan. This happened a few times ok? She just couldn't get over it.

Jieling's cake looked nicer but Songling's cake actually tasted a lot better. I think round cakes just look prettier. When I told Sam that, he said that he learned in his PhD that everything longs to be round, apparently being round is perfect. Something like that lah, it's too scientific for me to rephrase. So, everyone who has a round tummy, take heart, it's perfect. ;p

Hay Bi???!!!!

2006-04-04T13:05:00.000-05:00

This shall be an unusual post.

I received a package today. It was addressed to "Samuel and Huiling", had a Singapore stamp and no return address. It was odd shaped and had a stamp which said "Insufficently prepared for air transfer". When I opened it, it was a packet of hay bi (dried prawns)!! Now, who could have sent us a packet of hay bi?
I am guessing it's a Singaporean who has eaten my mee siam before but who is it? So, anyway, I am posting this so that the sender can own up! The other thing is, should I still eat the hay bi? What if it's from some joker who wants to kill us while we eat our mee siam in Pittsburgh? Hay bi sender, please own up. Thanks for the gift, though, Ms/Mr/Mrs Anonymous. Thanks for remembering us.

Jie Ling is 3!

2006-03-31T16:02:00.000-05:00

Jieling turned 3 last week. Thank you, everyone, for your well wishes and prayers.

The Deception of "Balance"

2006-03-25T10:42:00.000-05:00

You know how we are always talking about balancing our career, family and church? I am learning that it is deceiving to think that you can balance everything. As a woman, I often feel compelled to JUGGLE many things but I am now realising that it is usually not a matter of balance.

About 5-6 years ago, someone (a Christian lady) taught me the concept of centering. She suggested that God is our centre and everything that we do should revolve around that centre. If you look at life in a hierarchical way, you will find it very difficult to make choices. For eg, life is usually circular - you may place family as important so you are spending long hours at work to earn the money for your family but basically not spending time with your family. In a hierarchy, family is more important but at the practical level, it really isn't true. When you see God as your centre, you evaluate all the activities you are involved with and wonder if these activities do revolve around God - hours spent at work, hours spent teaching your children, etc.

At that time, I agreed completely with what she said. But I don't think I really saw the magnitude of it until recently. When God is my centre, I desire to do everything that pleases Him. I am beginning to feel, see and experience how everything must revolve around Him. I pray that we may all learn to always seek Him in everything that we should do.

Keeping the Sabbath Holy

2006-03-22T10:52:00.000-05:00

What does it mean to keep the Sabbath holy?

God has been impressing on my heart on ways to keep the Sabbath holy. It is not only about not working. It's about entering God's rest. So, other than resting and not working, how do we keep it holy?

1 of the things I am going to do is NOT to watch TV. I am also going to spend time catching up on reading the bible. I have a bible reading schedule to keep to and sometimes, I lag behind. I am also going to read some Christian books consciously. Last Sunday, I did these things. I read Elisabeth Elliot's 1982 newsletter. I was amazingly recharged. I was singing while cooking dinner and I didn't feel lethargic at all. AMAZING! Usually, I am EXTREMELY tired on Sundays. After church, I nap and wake up feeling SUPER groggy. Then I don't feel like cooking dinner and hope for a friend to call us to go out for dinner. I am going to keep trying to keep my Sabbath holy. And may God continue to show me what that means.

Easter Family Devotions

2006-03-22T10:26:00.000-05:00

Thought that since Easter is around the corner, I would like to share some ideas for the family particularly for this season.

1. Bingo
Use pictures for very young kids. I made bingo cards by looking for pictures in Microsoft Clipart. It's very easy. When you draw a picture from the pile/bag, explain what that picture means. Examples of pictures are crown of thorns, cross, holy communion, victory sign, stone rolled away, nails, last supper and heart. For slightly older kids, you may want to add words. This can also be used for other occasions like Christmas, missions emphasis, Chinese New Year.

2. Easter Tree Devotion
I got this from a Catholic website. This is to be done every day starting from 12 days before Easter. You can prepare a cardboard tree and stick the following items on the tree after reading the corresponding passages. I am going to use a cross instead of a tree.

Day 1: small palm trees or small branches (Reading: Matthew 21:1-11)
Day 2: small perfume sample bottles (Reading: John 12:2-8)
Day 3: "bread" made from salt dough and small chalices (Reading: Matthew 26:17-19)
Day 4: 30 silver coins (Reading: Matthew 27:3)
Day 5: small wooden cross (Reading: John 19:17)
Day 6: small crown of thorns (Reading: John 19:2)
Day 7: patches of burlap (Reading: John 19:23)
Day 8: 3 nails (Reading: John19:18, 37; John 20:25-29)
Day 9: small pieces of natural sponge (Reading: Matthew 27:34)
Day 10: small balls of cinnamon dough (Reading: John 19:40)
Day 11: small "round" stone (Reading: John 20:1)
Day 12: strips of white linen (Reading: John 20:6-7)

3. Quilt Square
Make a quilt square by sewing buttons or ironing pictures reflecting Easter. If you are more adept at sewing, you can applique all sorts of pictures. Young children would be able to participate by ironing or sticking pictures.

4. Do all sorts of Easter crafts the week before Good Friday and Easter. You can search for ideas over the internet. I am going to do a mobile hanging with all sorts of pictures to represent Easter.

5. Make specific food items. For Easter, I am going to make egg tarts. I am going to talk about eggs as symbol of new life to the kids. You could make anything that has egg in it, I guess. I just want to make something special (It's one of those things where I want my kids to grow up thinking and experiencing "Every Easter, we eat egg tarts for breakfast". It's no big deal for us to eat scrambled eggs, I guess. For e.g., I eat steamboat on Chinese New Year's Eve and vegetarian every Chinese New Year's Day in my family. So I am trying to create our own family traditions.) I am thinking that we would probably eat normally or even eat VERY SIMPLY on Good Friday and contemplate the meaning of Christ's death.

My Funny Moments

2006-03-10T14:36:00.000-05:00

More food stories
For Jieling's fans out there, here are more food jokes.

You know the Barney song?

I love you, you love me
We are 1 big family
With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you
Won't you say you love me too?

Jieling's version
I love garlic, I love ginger
We love everybody

Jieling's version of The Butterfly Song
If I were a vegetable, I thank you Lord raise my trunk
If I were a mushroom, I thank you Lord

We always clean up toys/books before mealtime. One day, Jieling's toys were all over the kitchen floor while I was cooking. Then I said, "Ok, lunch is ready." Jieling says, "Clean up, clean up...." She picks up her toys and runs out of the kitchen. She does this a few times as she has quite a lot of toys in the kitchen. As she is doing so, she mutters to herself, "Clean up, then can eat lunch. Clean up, listen mama or mama so sad!" When she was done, she said, "Look, mama, ready!" I was SO PROUD of her. I was praising her and affirming what she has done. After lunch, I saw this

She transferred the mess to the living room!!!!! Wah lau, I was still praising her, thinking she is such a good girl!!

If Song Ling could talk, she would say, "Who says I don't eat? I can eat a whole burger if only you let me do it."

As usual, you can Jie Ling's bulging tummy at the side....

How We Stifle a Toddler's Desire to Learn

2006-03-04T21:30:00.000-05:00

Option A is always stifling, by the way, if you haven't noticed.

Example 1

The humidifier is on, I am nursing Songling in the room. Jieling opens the door and comes in. She leaves the door open. I tell her to close the door. She obeys. After a few minutes, she opens the door and leaves the door open again. I tell her to close the door again.

Option A
I switch/spank/cane her for disobeying my instructions.

Option B
I sense irritation welling in me and then I decide to tell her the reason why the door has to be closed. She listens intently as I explain that the humidifier is for putting water in the air. The door has to be closed so that the water can stay in the room. Water in the air helps us feel good. It prevents our noses and throats from feeling pain.

Example 2
We go for cell group. On our way home, we decide to drop by school so that Sam can check on his experiments. We head home from school which requires a different route. Jieling asks, "Where we going?" I say, "Home". She says, "There traffic jam cannot go, we go another way."

Option A
I say, "Yeah". (Too tired to explain, it's already 11.30 pm!!!!)

Option B
I say, "No, Jieling. We usually go home from Uncle P's house. Today, we are going home from Papa's school. That is why we use a different way."

It's so tiring to explain so many things!! God reminds me that everything must be explained even though I may think that my kids do not understand what I am saying.

Doors don't stop them!

2006-03-01T09:24:00.000-05:00

Papa is on the other side. He is in the bathroom trying to have some moments of peace.

Jiejie is on the other side. She is napping but Meimei wants her to come out and play.

Our 2 little imps!

An Observation of 2 preschoolers

2006-03-01T09:04:00.000-05:00

I have been thinking about the way we bring up our children and how some people may construe it as being overprotective parenting. I am praying for wisdom to know the difference between bringing up our children in God's ways and being overprotective.

I observed 2 preschoolers playing together. A goes to school and has been doing so for 2 - 3 years. B has been at home most of the time. The closest experience to school is probably Sunday School. A's mother believes that A is way ahead of her peers academically (they are only in preschool, mind you!!!!). A watches lots of TV, has many educational CDs which feature popular cartoons. She is an only child and her mother is not her sole caregiver. B's mother believes that she is pretty much homeschooling B even though there is no formal curriculum. She believes that she is teaching B that learning takes place in any situation. B is not an only child.

On an outing, B hears noise and asks excitedly, "Mama, what sound is that?". A says, "You are so loud!". B's mother explains calmly where the sound is coming from and even points out the object that is making the sound. She even pauses to allow B to register her words and ask questions. B's mother tells A that it is alright to ask questions. A didn't seem to accept this - she was too busy with the thought that B is too noisy. This repeated a few times. B would see something and exclaim and A would complain that B is too loud.

A and B are playing - a baby sits near them. B gives a toy to the baby. A says, "You are a baby, you don't know anything". Baby crawls over and messes up all the toys. A scowls. B giggles and squeals. I was amused.

Talking about scowling - Jieling saw her friend scowl and she was trying to imitate her. When I saw what Jieling was trying to do, I was convinced that no one in our family scowls. At first, Jieling stared at her with a puzzled look on her face. Then Jieling tried to scrunge up her face, wink and blink and look sideways all at the same time. I think she sensed that she was not getting the look. Guess what else she did?

She used her fingers to try to shape her eyes and face to achieve her friend's look. I was TRYING SO HARD not to roll over and laugh my head off. This reinforced the idea that much is caught, not taught.

Importance of Good Cooking

2006-02-27T10:13:00.000-05:00

Since getting married, I have discovered the importance of good cooking. By good cooking, I mean using healthy ingredients and creating tasty meals. I realised that when a wife is a good cook, the family looks forward to eating at home. When you eat at home, you save money and you also eat healthy if the cook uses healthy alternatives. People look at the family and comments about how "lucky" they are for having a wife/mother who can cook well.

The husband, especially, feels proud about having a wife who can cook well. I have seen the embarrassment of a wife, when her husband said to another woman, "Oh, my wife should learn how to cook from you. You are such a good cook." When the woman said that his wife cooks quite well too, he said, "She's ok." Whilst that man is not very wise to put down his wife in public, no one can deny that those are his true feelings.

Whilst I am not a good cook, Sam is happy when I cook well. He's a nice person so when I cook badly, he doesn't say a thing. In fact, he eats up the lousy food without complaning. Hehehe...

I have seen and heard parents complaining about their children not eating well. Honestly, sometimes when I look at the food they are supposed to eat, I am like "Huh? What's that?????? Can eat one meh?" Of course, some children do have genuine problems eating and putting on weight. My No.2 is one such example. I thank God that He made her this way. Because of her, I have read up much on food and nutrition and accidentally stumbled on ways to increase the nutritional value of the food I am cooking for her. As such, the rest of the family benefits too. So, while it was, at first, worrying that Songling is not eating, I have come to see and embrace God's plan for us. Thank you, God!

Becoming World Ready

2006-02-16T09:39:00.000-05:00

1 Timothy 3:16 says "All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work."

The Word of God enables every person to be adequate and equipped for every good work. The Word of God would help us be ready for the world.

Sam and I are now thinking that we want to raise our children to become missionaries. This is and should be our perspective when we raise up our children but whether they become missionaries is up to God. We are not going to raise them up to be good citizens, good students or even academically smart people. We want to raise them up to be godly parents and godly spouses. My friend left a comment in my blog about how many of us were not raised to be good managers of the home (I am paraphrasing). I totally agree. Seriously, this applies to both men and women because 1 Timothy 3 does say that deacons/overseers must be able to manage their family. If they cannot manage their family, how can they mange the church of God? I have hopes for my children and if God allows them to live and grow to be adults, I want to be able to say that "I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth" (3 John 4).

With that, I acknowledge that it means doing things differently and I am afraid that I may not be able to do it. I am afraid that I, like many who have walked before me, may succumb to peer pressure and expect my children to go to school, excel and go to the university.

So, friends, pray for me, pray for us, that we may hold steadfastly to God's word. And, down the road, if and when I appear to have strayed from God in my parenting and daily living, remind me that "to those who by perseverance in doing good seek for glory and honor and immortality, eternal life; but to those who are selfishly ambitious and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, wrath and indignation. There will be tribulation and distress for every soul of man who does evil, of the Jew first and also of the Greek" (Romans 2:7-9)

Practically, what does it mean to me and my family?

It means that I have to stay at home (Titus 2:3-5). Even though I may want to fulfil my selfish ambition of being recognised in my profession/career, appreciated by the world, etc...

It means that we may have to not serve in church when we feel that the time spent in ministry to others is at the expense of ministry to our children. Even though we may see the great need in church for workers. Let this motivate us to manage our household well.

It means that we may have to homeschool (gulp! pray for us). I spoke to my mum about this and she said, "Yah hah, come to think of it, I spent so much time looking up logarithm tables for dunno what." Is the education system really beneficial to our children in a biblical perspective? What kind of values and knowledge does the education system teach?

It means involving my children in household chores. Even though it is often VERY difficult in the beginning - Jieling helps me in the kitchen but you know, she is still young, she needs to be supervised closely. I have a toufu story to go with this. I cooked a toufu dish. I went to wash some dishes in the sink and my back was turned towards the toufu dish. Unknown to me, she started stirring the toufu in the pot. By the time, I looked at her and the pot, this was my comment, "Jieling! Aiyah, why you stir until all mimi?" (So Singaporean hor?)She looked at me and said, "Mama, what you saying?" The toufu was really difficult to eat - we didn't eat it in the end.

It means being disciplined and orderly in my life. My ex-colleagues know that I love to sleep. If I have time off, I will always take it in the afternoon to go home and nap! My other colleague takes time off in the morning so that she can wake up later. Hahaha!! So it is a challenge to wake up every morning to have family devotion. It is even more challenging to wake up earlier than everyone else to have my personal devotion.

It means so much more, and, often, it's the littlest things that matter. Share with me the things you do so that I can learn to live more like Christ.

Biblical principles in parenting

2006-02-13T09:59:00.000-05:00

Romans 2:21
"You, therefore, who teach another, do you not teach yourself? You who preach one shall not steal, do you steal?"

I am feeling the mental strain of doing Part 2 of my previous entry. I have decided to recommend books for interested readers instead of trying to rehash and replicate what others have already done.

I just wanted to bring up Romans 2:21 as how we really should live our lives according to how we want our kids to live. For e.g, if you don't want your kids to shout at you, don't shout at them. You don't want them to act on anger, don't act on your anger (this is particularly with regard to disciplining - when your child has done something wrong, correct them, chasten if necessary and then leave it. Don't let him keep disobeying until you have reached the limits of your patience and then give them a good dress-down or whacking). You don't want them to snack, then don't snack (I learnt this from my mum - I don't like my kids to snack but I have no qualms about snacking myself - so my mum said I was mean, cos I was snacking and not allowing them to snack. My mum snacks and gives snacks to Jieling so that they can enjoy snacking together. Haha...)

In my friendships with young people, I have always wondered what went wrong since many of them were/are brought up by Christians. There was a lack of reality of Jesus Christ in these young people's lives. I have learnt, in recent years (especially since becoming a parent), that it has a lot to do with how the Christian parents are living their lives. They tell their children to trust in God and have faith. They make them go to church but they do not have family devotions. At the same time, they also get upset when their children do not do well in school, chiding them for not thinking about their own future. They are afraid that the children may end up with "hard lives" because they didn't work hard in school when they were young. On top of that, they also say that God would want them to work hard and be diligent. It is true that we should be diligent in our attitudes but is it really true that God wants us to study in schools? Does God want us to become "successful" in the world's eyes? Remember that God uses the foolishness of the world to shame the wise of the world (1 Cor 1:27).

So, how am I and Sam going to parent? There was a recent debate in The Straits Times about whether our students and scholars are world ready. Well, catch our next post on bringing up our kids to be world ready.

Books you may like (if you are a parent desiring to bring up your children in God's truth)

1. How to Raise Your Children For Christ by Andrew Murray (I haven't finished it but it has been insightful so far :))

2. To Train Up a Child by Michael and Debi Pearl (I am such a supporter of them that I read their website (No Greater Joy) regularly. Friends whom I have recommended this book to say it's a great book. If you have no time to read or don't like to read, read this one cos it's such an easy reading! Give me your address if you want a book, I bought copies to give to friends.)

3. Shepherding a Child's Heart by Ted Tripp (Talks about the importance of the heart behind your child's behaviors)

4. Hints on Child Training by Clayton Trumbull (Elisabeth Eliott's great grandfather leh! Even though it was written "eons" ago, it is still (or even more so) relevant in today's society)

Give me feedback about what other books to read, ok?

The Parenting Role

2006-01-31T14:41:00.000-05:00

Recently, I was trying to discourage a friend from pursuing further studies. To cut the long story short, it meant that this friend was going to possibly spend 4-5 years away from his wife and daughter. He asked me what I thought was wrong with such an arrangement and I was stumped. I took it for granted that anyone can see that it is wrong! So I was sitting there trying to think of Bible verses plus feed SL and supervise JL at lunch and I could only come up with a lame, feeble sentence like "It is permissible, but not beneficial"...

Anyway, I kept thinking about this issue and I think it boils down to what our parenting role is.

Biological
If you think that your role as a parent is biological (aka just have the child and that's it), then I guess you did your part as a parent. The child is born - the job is finished, the role is complete.

Material
If you think your parenting role is to provide material possessions, then you are likely to go out and work yourself to death and buy lots of stuff for your kids but spend very little time with them.

Nurture
Likewise, if you think your role is to nurture, you probably shower your kids with more than enough attention - always praising them, looking at the most positive aspects of your children.

Biblical
A biblical view of parenting is so multi-faceted that I feel stuck at this moment trying to think of how to explain the biblical view. It has facets of love/nurture, dicipline/rebuke, teaching/training, stewardship (knowing that God lent you this child for whatever period of time He deems fit), discipleship and etc, etc... I am probably going to have to post part 2 which includes all the biblical verses...

Tag Overdose

2006-01-27T10:24:00.000-05:00

I suspect I have been poisoned by tag overdose. After a furious tagging saga among Van, Pauline and XY on our blogs, I fell ill. I had flu and had to be confined to bed the whole day. I am still recovering. I was trying to think what the 3 of them had in common and I realised that they were from the same jc. As I thought further, I realised they were in the same jc as Sam!!! It must be some idiotic conspiracy that I didn't know about... "Tag Leng until she kena big time"

Does anyone want to see how Sam and I look?

2006-01-22T20:39:00.000-05:00

I know no one cares about how we look but I thought I would just put a pic of us plus our 3rd and 4th parties.

By the way, did you know we are all training to be pop stars? We haven't figured the "I love you" sign yet. I am presently trying to "catch" Sam when he is training. Will post a pic of him when I "catch" it.

Your England and my English

2006-01-22T20:17:00.000-05:00

I always thought that my English is MUCH better than Sam's. For eg., we would never name our children "Tabitha", "Phoebe", "Natasha", "Evangeline", etc.... He wouldn't be able to call them!!!

Anyway, he left his report on the computer desktop and I read the first 2 pages. Of course, I knew nuts about the content so don't ask me what it is about but whoa! He actually used words that I didn't know! Like annealed, twining, anisotropy and I was surprised that he could actually use "impede". Hahahaha... I know I sound condescending - I confess and ask for forgiveness. Bravo, Sam! Your England very the good ah!

Where got time?

2006-01-22T15:23:00.000-05:00

I decided to blog in reply to Vanie's question about me having time to update my blog. Too long a reply to tag it.

I guess it comes down to having a schedule and training the kids. My schedule goes something like this -

7.30 am: feed SL milk, rise and shine, family devotion

8.30 am: breakfast, SL play alone time in play pen while JL helps with dishes or plays alone, reading or playing or going grocery shopping

11.30 am: feed SL milk, cook lunch

12.30 pm: lunch, more play and reading time

2 pm: nap (3 pm:feed SL milk but she goes back to sleep)

4 pm: play, read

5 pm: prepare dinner

6.30 pm: feed SL milk

7 pm: dinner

8.30 pm: family devotion

8.45 pm: SL bedtime

9 pm: JL bedtime , couple devotion

Before I go to bed, I feed SL milk another time.

So there goes the entire day. I have pockets of time when they nap and after their bedtime. I am not a stickler to the clock though. And I try to have alone times for the kids so that the kids can learn to play or read alone - then I can be able to do some housework without them clinging to me or whining. Well, I also get Jieling to help with housework lah.

So I can update my blog and do other stuff. I also help someone edit his writings and help to cook for people in my church (usually, pregnant women who have just given birth and they are on their own doing confinement - my church organises a food roster whenever a lady gives birth and needs some help so we take turns to bring them food). It's busy but with some planning, I think, I can still have some free time here and there. :) Take care, Vanessa! Enjoy Gabriel and may you bring him up in God's ways such that you may indeed say that you have no greater joy than to see him walk in truth. :)

Papa Knows All

2006-01-19T23:26:00.000-05:00

Many pastors, ministers, teachers often use the parent-child relationship to describe our relationship with God. I am not surprised.

Papa, the know-it-all
She points to this vague picture in book. I say, "I don't know what it is". She says, "Papa come home, ask papa". It's like as though Sam would definitely know what it was.

Papa, the one who wants to be involved in her life
She does a somersault at home when Sam is at school. "Later show Papa ok?"

Papa, the problem-solver
I gave all the remaining porridge in the pot to Jieling. She saw a few graind of rice left on the pot, so she said, "Got some more!" I told her, "Rice stuck, cannot take". (Now you know where she got her broken English and Chinese from.) She said, "Ask papa help ok?"

The modem has problems connecting to the internet. She says, "Later tell papa, ask papa repair".

Papa, the Authority
She asks to watch a DVD. I say no. She says, "Later papa come home, ask papa ok? If papa say no, no. If papa say yes, yes".

If only we asked God every question we have, if only we wanted to tell Him everything, if only we obeyed Him in everything, if only we trusted Him with everything including all our problems, we would have so much more peace. Indeed, Jesus says "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." - Matt 11:30

Trusting God with our lives

2006-01-18T14:42:00.000-05:00

I had a discussion with a friend yesterday about healthy eating habits. Since I am responsible for the food intake in my family, I have been reading information about what's healthy and what's not. A few months ago, I was reminded by God to trust Him in all things. Why should I eat healthily? So that we would be healthy. If you keep asking "why", you will probably end up with an answer that is something like "to live a long life" or "to not be sick/die", etc. God reminded me that my reason for eating healthy should not be because I am afraid of dying or getting sick (myself or my family) but simply because we want to be well and continue serving Him. Many healthier options are, unfortunately, costlier options. With a tight budget, it is not always possible to buy the more expensive option. Don't fret - trust Him. Pray about these decisions that you have to make remembering that you really do not have the power over sickness, life and death. With this trust in God, I have peace when I deep fry food, use non-stick pans, eat stuff loaded with flour and sugar. But He also gives wisdom - eat a variety of foods, avoid unhealthy foods, but don't be paranoid about them if you do end up consuming them. Use pots, pans and utensils you can afford and buy good ones occasionally so that you can eventually stock up good stuff over the years. :)

Chap Pa Lang

2006-01-17T15:06:00.000-05:00

This is especially dedicated to XY. We had a discussion about being cheena and kentang.

Jieling is a cheena because
1. she eats red dates, ginger, onions, wolfberries, mee siam and curry

2. she knows these very important words - pi sai (Josh thinks it is very disgusting), orh chi (blue black).

3. she has difficulty pronouncing "s" - evidence of a short tongue present in Chinese.
a) when she sings "With Christ in the vessel", the "smile at the storm" part sounds like "maul at the thong".
b) Bryan and Cocoa took a long time to teach her how to say "Let's go". She always says "Leh go".

Jieling is a kentang because
1. she thought zhang3 (grow) is jump. Chinese song that goes something like when we read our bible, we grow. She jumps at the "zhang3" part, cos she thinks it's jump.

2. when sam and i speak chinese, she says, "mama, what you saying?"

Jieling is a chap pa lang because
1. she wrote a horizontal stroke and said "yi4". The she wrote many horizontal strokes and said "many yi4!".

2. she took a piece of paper today and scribbled on it saying, "1 John Chapter 2 light, la, ah, ya, the" and started singing "yi shan yi shan liang jing jing, man tian dou si xiao xing xing (twinkle twinkle star in chinese)"

Songling is a head-banger

2006-01-13T10:32:00.000-05:00

Me, a head-banger?

I have heard of horror stories before I had Songling about how some kids bang their heads on the wall or hit their heads with their hands when they get upset or angry. This is especially if they are reprimanded. These parents profess that it has been difficult to correct/punish/discipline them because of their capacity to inflict hurt on themselves. At that time, I was just "oooh, ahh, yeah, challenging". Haha, God gave us a head-banger. When Songling gets upset, she would arch her body, chest forward and head backwards. If she is sitting on a chair or against a wall, her head will inevitably bang the seat or the wall. I have successfully stopped her from doing so. So, parents with head-bangers, take heart, it is possible to stop your kids from doing so. Read www.musingsofaparent.blogspot.com for ideas.

New Tag Board

2006-01-11T09:56:00.000-05:00

We went to a shopping mall on Saturday. The kids sat on this chair in the mall and Songling started laughing deliriously. Thanks, Cocoa, for taking pictures!

I was initially reluctant to add a tagboard cos I just wasn't keen to sign up for one. I guess Pauline made me rethink again about having a tagboard. Tada, so there it is on your right! Tag me!

Jieling loves to eat!

2006-01-09T23:31:00.000-05:00

This is for those who are not convinced that Jieling loves to eat...

Scenario 1
Context: We have trained Jieling that she will not get a certain something if she whines, screams or cries for it. She also gets a spanking if she does not listen to our instructions.

We are eating lunch at the table. She finished her meal. I am feeding Songling and eating my own lunch. She asked for pear. I told her she has to wait for me and Songling to finish eating. She asked for pear again and I told her to keep quiet. She tried not to open her mouth (imagine her trying to purse her lips) and then made these sounds "Mmng, ng, mmg, mng" and then she muttered under her breath with her lips still pursed together "I cannot keep quiet... I cannot keep quiet... I need to eat something... I need to eat something... I need to eat (pause) MY TOE!"

I stared at her and I said "Your toe?!" We broke out in mad laughter....

Scenario 2
Context: She does not get snacks in the afternoon at all.

Well, today, I decided to give her a chocolate wafer. She said "I have been waiting SOOOOOO long, mama".

Third Party or Happy Family?

2006-01-09T19:42:00.000-05:00

Throughout the San Diego trip, there were 2 ladies vying for Bryan's affections. :) Judge for yourselves whether they are a happy family or a 3rd party is involved.

2006-01-06T10:17:00.000-05:00

Jieling's dessert for her kid's meal.

We were supposed to be in San Diego but somehow, we landed in some Native American (for some of you, it's sar kai and for some others, it's Red Indian) hut. By the way, it was Jieling's idea to go inside for a picture. I don't why the adults actually followed her instructions.

We are all pushing Song Ling on the swing!

Qn 1: What is Cocoa doing?
Ans: Don't know

Qn 2: What is Jieling doing?
Ans: Don't know

Qn 3: Where is papa and mama?
Ans: Don't know and don't care....

San Diego pics

2006-01-05T14:43:00.000-05:00

You have to understand that a stay home mum needs to do one thing in many sessions. I am still blogging about San Diego....

I am extremely thankful to Bryan and Cocoa who helped us with EVERYTHING. I hope we were not too troublesome. Sam and I joked about how Jieling, Bryan and Cocoa looked like a happy family.

I give up! I have tried to upload some pics multiple times but it's not working... I thought of all sorts of witty comments for the different pics some more... irritating... Will try again another time.

San Diego

2006-01-04T22:07:00.000-05:00

I guess I really should say something about San Diego. Being family-friendly, we went to see many, many animals. Looking at the animals and nature (we also went to a beach), I am amazed that there are people who think there is no Creator. How can that be? Each animal is too unique, too special. How can an explosion result in such beautiful creatures and scenery? Surely, there was a master at work.

The other thing about the trip was that I felt guilty. I wondered about the futility of this short holiday. Should I have spent the money on this vacation? Maybe I really didn't need to indulge in spending time and money this way. But well, the trip's over and no point looking at it too negatively. It's not like I was unhappy during the trip or what. I guess I was just reflecting on it after I came back and I realised that it was not like super fruitful or beneficial like as though as what Solomon said in Ecclesiastes that everything was meaningless.

Holiday Sickness

2006-01-03T22:50:00.000-05:00

The whole family was sick for about a week so we've been out of action. Sam and I planned to have a meaningful Christmas by doing some family things as a tradition - like things that we would do every Christmas as a family. So we thought we would start it this year and continue doing it for subsequent years.... Well, we spent Christmas being sick... so didn't do any of the things we planned.

Barbie

2005-12-26T10:34:00.000-05:00

Since my blog entry on "acceptable" versus "undesirable" gifts plus the fact that this is the season for gifts, I have noticed something interesting. There have been 2 main different type of responses to what Sam and I are trying to do. And to me, it is amazing that usually men have a different response from the women! When men hear about our thoughts, they go "Orh, ok." Women usually say "Hah? So poor thing? Girls also like to be pretty mah."

Hahaha... interesting. It's as though as men seem to know that there is a problem whereas women are more sympathetic about the lack of practice in vanity. :)

Back

2005-12-21T10:57:00.000-05:00

We just returned from San Diego. For those who were wondering about the conclusion of the Disney fashion set, we gave Jieling select items from the set like comb and bag. No lipstick, powder puff...

More about San Diego another time. :)

Elisabet Elliot

2005-12-13T13:51:00.000-05:00

I have been reading Elisabeth Elliot Gren's website and I have been ministered by her wisdom. She has 3 husbands and 1 daughter but if you know her history, she didn't have chronologically long marriages with her first 2 husbands. Yet, she has so much wisdom concerning the home, spousal relationship, parental relationship with children. I have really been encouraged when I read her newsletters and devotionals.

Cabin

2005-12-13T13:24:00.000-05:00

Question: What happens when you put a bunch of Singaporean men together in the wilderness during winter?

Answer: First, they test out their walkie talkies, then they decide on a code. They go separate ways, radio each other and then build a fire. They huddle around the fire, talk about army and where to eat. Coincidentally, one of the men is a taxi driver so he's an expert ok. Don't play play!!

Rodney conspired with the evil snowman to terrorize my husband!!!

Bad hair day

2005-12-11T15:11:00.000-05:00

Believe me, we had nothing to do with her hairstyle...

This pic, to me, is reflective of Songling's general disposition - despite a bad hair day, she can still be rather cheery.

Lesson of the day/week/year/whatever

2005-12-10T14:25:00.000-05:00

We went to a Christmas/holiday dinner thing yesterday. Jieling and Songling both got presents. When Jieling opened her present, Sam and I were like, "Alright, let's wait a minute. Papa and mama need to think first before we can talk to you about the present." Thank God it was late and way past her bedtime, so we just got her to bed and ignored the present thing.

The lesson I learnt is to train my kids that all presents come through papa and mama first before they have a chance to look or play with it. They can only use/play it upon our approval. In the past, I just keep away the presents(toys/clothes etc) that I do not approve of. Jieling was still young and she doesn't care or know who gives her what. She is now older and more conscious of who is giving her what.

Some of you must be dying to know what I do not approve of and what kind of heinous present did she get from the dinner last night????? Well, the answer might surprise you. She got a Disney Princess fashion set yesterday - had a handbag, brush, comb, mirror, lipstick, sunglasses, HUGE earrings (each the size of 2 of her ears, I think), etc. Why do I disapprove it? I didn't want her to practise materialism. Someone once taught her when she was abt a year old that she looked very pretty when she has a necklace on. She associated pretty with ornaments on her neck, head, etc. Fortunately she was young and that person rarely came into contact with her so she forgot about the association.

Some people think it is funny that she puts on real lipstick, etc. Well, I happen not to think so and yes, I do keep away Barbie gifts that she has received. We have a Barbie book that teaches her the importance of wearing clothes that are stylish and matching in pattern/colour when she goes to the mall, market, beach or tea party. Whatever lah. I don't think I want to teach her those things now.

Lest you think I don't want her to be pretty or girly, that is not true. I just want her to learn from young that it is more important to clothe yourself with good and godly attributes, traits and behavior. As for personal appearance, cleanliness and tidiness are most important. If God is willing for her to live, she has her teenage years to think about dressing up and meditate on the meaning of being pretty physically.

Cabin contrast

2005-12-08T23:07:00.000-05:00

When we arrived, the cabin looked like this...

After an episode of overnight snowing, the cabin became....

Staying with mama

2005-12-01T14:32:00.000-05:00

JL: Mama, I make house for you.
Mama: Wah! Thank you! You make house for me to stay ah? You stay with mama ok?
JL: No, don't want.
Mama: Huh? Then you stay where?
JL: I go zoo, mama.

Sigh, she's not even 3 and she doesn't want to stay with me. She would rather live with animals!

Weather's been getting colder and colder. Had a good stay at the cabin. Jieling jumped down from the upper bunk bed in the cabin. Thank God for protection and healing. The men made a huge snowman while the women stayed in the cabin with the children. It was too cold for the children to be staring at the men work and they were too small to help build the snowman. Oh well, such is life.

Rodney, Sam and I also tried very unsuccesfully to sled on dustbin covers and cardboard boxes. We (actually Rodney and Sam lah) looked stupid cos Naomi and Jieling were staring at them and Suz was laughing while sitting indoors.

Jieling didn't even want to try sledding. She had a frown on her face when we asked. It was like she was saying "You want me to look dumb like you? No way!"

Nutrition

2005-11-17T08:51:00.000-05:00

Things you never knew about nutrition -

www.westonaprice.org

Shiong

2005-11-16T15:41:00.000-05:00

I am going to a modern cabin next week. Super shiong to go cabin with 2 kids. It's like going to Juniors camp as a leader/planner. Hahahahaha! Cabin has minimal furnishings and located in ulu park. So for our family alone, I must pack 3 mattress covers, 4 blankets, 4 pillows and the playpen for Songling to sleep in. Then must bring food for all the meals. And it's already cold, so must pack all the winter stuff.... shiong...

Then there is a retreat thing at church this weekend so we have to die die squeeze some time to buy groceries for cabin trip somewhere.

Guess won't be blogging for long time to come cos retreat coming and cabin trip coming and after cabin, there will be a LOT of stuff to wash and housework to do. Then have to plan farewell for some Singaporean friends who are returning to the land of cheap delicious hawker food and then it will be flying to San Diego already and then there will be more washing and more housework. Phew!

Why I am a stay home mum

2005-11-14T16:20:00.000-05:00

I came to the US to pursue a course in developmental psychology. After I graduated, Sam and I prayed about what I was going to do. After graduation, I am allowed under US immigration law to work for a year in my student visa status. We prayed and felt that God was telling us that I should stay at home and look after the children. Well, at that time, I only had 1. But observing other caregivers giving care to that first child had strengthened my convictions that I have to look after my children myself if I really want to pass on my values to them. Our prayers was yet another confirmation for me to be a stay home mum.

So why am I staying at home? I guess it boils down simply to the fact that I want to obey God. I loved what I was trained to do (in terms of career) and I honestly thought that God had shown me (at that time) that that career was my niche - God has given me a passion for the work and I thought I was good at it. I have to say that while these things still hold true, God has given me children to steward and I don't think He gave them to me so that I could give them to someone else to bring them up while I make some money and supposedly pursue my "ministry/niche". I believe that my children are my greatest ministry and I am thankful that God has shown me this when they are young. I would hate to be only shown this when my kids have become brats. Besides, He did tell me to stay at home when I asked Him. :)

Paul tells the older women to teach the younger women to be workers at home, amongst many other things, in Titus 2:5. Where are all our older women and what are they teaching the younger women? Well, I have had older women (Christian) questioning me and asking if I don't think I feel I have wasted my education. It's as though as being a mother is being dumbass and lowly educated. I hope not! It's as though as I don't need to teach my kids anything whereas the society at large needs my education somehow. I have to explain so many things to my kids, you know? My 2 year-old knows which medicine to take for cough and which one for cold. She also knows papa's and mama's medicines for sore throat, cough, etc. Do you know why the sky is blue? There is an answer that you can give your children, you know? Go find out!

Holiday!

2005-11-10T22:32:00.000-05:00

By the way, I am so thrilled to be going to San Diego! We were thinking of going and then after much deliberation, we decided that we won't go unless our friends want to go. But we were like quite sure that our friends may not be very interested so we kinda put the trip out of our heads. Then last weekend, they said they were interested and tada we booked our tickets. Yay! So exciting!!!

The Blessing Song

2005-11-10T10:53:00.000-05:00

The Blessing Song
by Dennis Jernigan

May the Lord answer you in the day of your trouble!
May the name of the Lord be your strong mighty tower!
May He grant you your heart's deepest dreams and desires!
May He answer each time you call!

May He pour out the blessing of heaven!
May you cast your cares on Him and daily fall!
May you live to see your children's children!
May Lord Jesus be your All in All!

May the Lord Jesus Christ satisfy beyond all measure!
May His Word light your path!
May His Peace guard your heart!
May your days be filled with gladness, joy and peace through any sadness
Filled with love that will not depart!

May your strength be renewed like the eagle!
As you run the race may joy flood every part!
May your memories all be sweet in each parting!
May the peace of Christ rule your heart!

May His word be to you health and life, joy and treasure.
May your home be a light.
May the Lord guard your ways.
May the Lord be your shepherd.
May His goodness and mercy follow after you all your days!

May His mercies be new every morning!
May His grace and Holy Spirit help you stand!
May you live your life to die for the gospel!
May you hold to His unchanging hand!

May the Lord answer you in the day of your trouble!
May the name of the Lord be your strong mighty tower!

A bunch of very close friends (ironically, most of whom I am no longer in close contact with) sang this song at my wedding. I recently examined the lyrics again and I began to wonder (yet again!) at the work of God in our lives. When my friends sang these words to us, did they realise that they are singing God's word to us and that it would take root in our marriage? Probably. I am sure they meant every word of the song and I pray that they may be glad that this song is becoming very real to us. :) Thank you, dear friends. I am humbled by your love for us.

Child training

2005-11-03T10:03:00.000-05:00

Every so often, I wonder about what the girls will grow up to be. I wonder if I am doing the right thing. And every once in a while, God reminds me with His word that if I bring up the children in God's way, they will NEVER depart away from it.

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it" Proverbs 22:6

A few days ago, Jieling thanked me for cleaning the house. Hahaha.... Last week, she thanked me for cooking dinner. Hahaha... It is challenging to train her because it essentially means a clash of her will and mine. Yet, when she is sweet, I am given a tiny glimmer of hope that maybe, I am training her correctly.

"Even a child is known by his deeds, whether what he does is pure and right" Proverbs 20:11

Of course, she is still rebellious. But God's word assures me that she will not depart from God's way if I were to train her up in it. Dear God, please continue to give us wisdom to train our children.

Sick

2005-11-01T20:00:00.000-05:00

Well, the kids are sick. And so am I. Slept in the living room last night cos when I coughed, I would wake Songling up and she becomes almost unsoothable.

Some pics of my joker kids playing doctor when they were well.... hahaha

Hypocrisy

2005-10-17T13:46:00.000-05:00

I don't understand how people can have time to blog everyday. Well, sometimes I am so tired that even though I have thought about a lot of stuff, I don't have the energy to blog it. Anyway, I have been thinking about how we are such fakers in the Christian faith. It seems like we are lovers of pleasure and holding to a form of godliness and denying the power of godliness. (2 Tim 3:4-5) So many of my friends have beautiful homes (aesthetically and architecturally speaking) with Christian words and stuff peppered all over the house. But I am not sure if they are more "lovers of pleasure" or "lovers of God".

I have realised that a lot of things that I didn't understand from the bible when I was a teenager was largely due to people (Sunday School teachers and pastors included) who misled me. I didn't understand not because I was one of those people who hears but does not understand, and who sees but does not perceive. It was because the teaching was a half-truth or sugar-coated truth. Take how Paul tell women not to teach in public.

I was a little confused when I was taught in Sunday School many years ago that Paul was speaking to a particular population, not all women. We should actually take the principle of what Paul has said, not the literal truth. For e.g., some principles may be that women should not be gossips, should speak with propriety, etc, etc... My question then is when do we supposedly take God's word literally and when do we draw/infer principles out of it? Hmm... of course, no good answer for me cos apparently the answer is "it depends". My follow-up question is depends on what???? Depends on what I feel like, depends on what I can accept, depends on what history/background I am from?????? Duh....

I moved to US (temporarily) and I actually met women who believed and lived out not teaching. I got a book by Debi Pearl "Created To Be His Help Meet" and understood that it is not that women are not good at teaching or that they cannot minister, it is just a matter of God's design. Women's relationships with their husbands reflect the church's relationship to Christ. God gave authority to men to be leaders and teachers. Women are to be submissive to their husbands. Consider 1 Cor 14:34. Maybe Paul knew that there would be teachers who would interpret the submissiveness of women as not necessary or God-pleasing but rather contextual. That's why he said "as the Law says".

Well, I am still chewing on this. Will ruminate, pray and meditate...

Sting ray

2005-10-16T19:45:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, Rodney cooked sting ray and we smeared my sambal on it. Mmm... yummy... Some people have asked me for some recipes so you can visit http://www.cookaleng.blogspot.com

Hiking with 2

2005-10-11T09:05:00.000-05:00

Alright, it has been a busy weekend. We went to Laurel Summit State Park for a hike on Sat. Sam woke up on Sunday aching all over. I was gloating over him and then I started aching in the evening. The hike was ok. It was a foggy day so when we reached the overlook, we only saw FOG. Someone joked about how a couple of people fell off the overlook cos they wanted to have a closer look of the view behind the fog. Haha.

Taught Sunday School and I need to be more organized in my teaching. I need to factor in prayer time. We used to have a prayer time before snack and that kinda rounded up the time nicely. After the change in timing, there is no snack and hence we end class without really praying together.

Wedding???!

2005-10-06T16:42:00.000-05:00

Limei, you are the first person I am inviting to my blog so that you can see my wedding pictures.... Hahahaha, like 3 years ago man.... These were pics from my slideshow during the wedding dinner. All my other pics are at home... sob sob...

For some wedding pics, please go to http://samnlengwedding.blogspot.com

Jieling and Songling

2005-10-05T09:14:00.000-05:00

Jie Ling says, "Hold mei mei tight tight or mei mei fall down"

Pray, pray, pray

2005-10-05T09:09:00.000-05:00

1 Chronicles 30:21-27

Pray, pray, pray. God hears all our prayers. Isn't it amazing how He hears all our prayers at the same time? And yet He does hear them. :) Thank God for hearing me. I realise I may be irritating and so I thank You for Your patience.

Devotion of the day

2005-10-04T16:41:00.000-05:00

1 Peter 5:6-10
Dear God, help me resist the devil. Evil as he prowls around looking for someone to devour, give me strength to be firm in my faith and resist him. Thank you that You will perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish me. Help me understand more clearly what this promise means.

Perfect - to be made whole and complete
Confirm - to be assured
Strengthen - to be made strong
Establish - to have firm foundation and roots like the tree in Psalm 1

Last weekend was very busy. Went to Strip District and Walmart to get supplies for rojak. Helped to sell rojak on Friday, Sep 30. It was quite tiring cos after the food fest, we went to cell group. By the time we got back from cell and put the kids to bed, we decided to forget about all the washing we had to do. Cocoa was roasting char siew at my place too so we had to clean the oven too, plus all the utensils we brought to sell rojak. Thank God we didn't need to go grocery shopping on Saturday so could do washing and cleaning up. Gee...

Went to the zoo yesterday. Jieling is so familiar with the zoo that she knows which animals are coming up next. :) She is funny. We had mango yesterday and she said "Mmm, nice". I said, "Nice right?" and she said, "Not bad". Hahahaha, I laughed so hard when she said "not bad".

Oh, Jieling helped to roast peanuts for the rojak. :)